So Your Team Sucks  . . .  

Welcome to the club. You spent too much time in March pouring over rankings and sleeper picks. You ignored homework and your loved ones while falling inside your computer, swimming for the shore of glory: a triumphant season with your buddies left puzzled, trying to figure out how you knew someone like Chris Shelton would go off.  You created or stole what you were sure was the perfect method for predicting player performance. It combined elements of BB/K ratio, Value over Replacement Player(VORP), age/growth/strength considerations, and, of course, your gut. You went to bed at night fantasizing what your line-up would look like. You anticipated draft day like a soldier on shore leave, after payday.

But the draft didn’t quite go as you had hoped. Sure, you got some of the studs you wanted, but the sleepers didn’t fall so far and then you panicked, grabbing old, formerly reliable names like Shawn Green or Jon Lieber, who have now sunk your dreams. Now, three weeks into the season, your dog paddling in the standings, wondering which way is that distant glory beach. Here’s what to do:

Stay the Course. That is, if you’re confident in your players. Last year, I had one team with a boatful of slow starters, guys like Eric Chavez, Victor Martinez, Lance Berkman, etc. We carved out a spot in last place and clung tightly for the first couple months. But then, once the weather started heating up, so did our bats. We ended up taking the Yoohoo Shower.

Abandon Ship. But how do you know when to hold and when to cut bait? Guys like those I mentioned above(Chavez, V-Mart) are in their prime and will come around. Hitters around 35 or older, especially those who have played many innings(think Jim Edmonds) may hit a hot streak in summer, but will not save your team like they once did. Expect someone else to throw you a life preserver.

Measure your expectations. Don’t count on the young ‘uns to save you. Anything you get from Prince Fielder or Jeremy Hermida is a bonus. If you need to, package one of those youngsters with a quality regular(ie, Pat Burrell) and try to land a stud who hasn’t gone off yet(Manny). Remember, it’s easier to land a close to average bat off the waiver wire than it is to get your mitts on a stud who’s about to make-up for lost time.

Surf the Wire, Man. I like to keep at least one spot on my roster just for hot players from the waiver wire. This requires some regular attention from you to know who’s hot from week to week, though. Your league might have a 7-day search on free agents, which would make your work a lot easier(CBS and Yahoo both offer this). Last year I picked up Tino Martinez at the start of his ridiculous, 8-game HR streak, then dropped him after two 0-fers. Some one else claimed him and dropped Palmeiro in the process. I claimed Raffy, Tino had one hit over the next week, and Raffy produced much better over the next month until the whole ‘roids thing hit the fan. During the final month I had Frank Catalanotto in that spot, when he was hitting .320 and driving in a baker’s dozen. ESPN player cards offer historical splits if you want to research when certain players like to hit.

Be realistic. And here are three lists to help you out with this one.

Will be, or already are, hurt: Ken Griffey, Jr. Bobby Crosby, Marcus Giles, Carlos Beltran, Chipper Jones, Kerry Wood, Mark Prior, Nomar Garciaparra, Eric Gagne, Armando Benitez, Carl Pavano, Roy Halladay, Jim Edmonds. These guys are hurt every year. If their bodies were cars, you’d call them beaters. Stash ‘em on the DL and move on. Expect nothing from them.

Will slow way, way, way down: Chris Shelton, Casey Blake, Alex Rios, Xavier Nady, Ronny Cedeno, Tom Glavine, Bronson Arroyo, Hanley Ramirez, Orlando Cabrera, Vinny Castillo, Jack Wilson, Josh Willingham, Greg Maddux, Jamey Wright, Jason Repko, Ty Wigginton.

Will soon make you look good: Chase Utley, Ichiro Suzuki, Dan Johnson, Aubrey Huff, Aramis Ramirez, Manny Ramirez, Brad Wilkerson, Jason Varitek. Pitchers take a little longer than hitters to get into a groove. These guys will soon. Be ready: Barry Zito, Joe Blanton, Brad Radke, Jon Garland, Freddy Garcia, Daniel Cabrera, Estaban Loaiza, and, of course, Johan Santana.

Two more pitchers belong on that list, but I wanted to highlight them. Aaron Harang(22/5) and Jeremy Bonderman(20/3) both have awesome K/BB ratios so far. Their ERAs are way too high. They will fix this and you want to be around for it.

Finally, these guys’ early season woes have me wondering: Are they toast? You decide for yourself. Mike Piazza, Shawn Green, Frank Thomas, Javy Lopez, Barry Bonds, Rondell White, Dmitri Young, Mike Sweeney, Ray Durham, Jim Edmonds, Scott Podsednik, David Wells, Oliver Perez, Jason Isringhausen, Jon Lieber, Eddie Guardado.

Robert Stapleton is way too old to care about fantasy baseball. But there he goes anyway. He lives with his family in Indianapolis. His comments do not necessarily reflect the views of Rotochamps.com