Baseball Headlines:   Hudson, Braves conclude set in LA    Owings, Diamondbacks continue series with Nats    Sheets set to follow CC as Brewers take on Rockies    Zambrano leads Cubs' bolstered rotation vs. Reds    Pirates wrap up set with Astros in Steel City    Rangers send Ballard to hill against Angels    White Sox, Royals resume series in KC    Blanton takes ball for A's vs. Seattle    Mets' Santana aims to get on winning track versus Giants    Cabrera leads Tigers in finale with Tribe   
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We Got Lists!
Posted on Friday, May 27 @ 11:16:02 PDT by Auggie
Bench Coach

We’re at the end of week eight and it’s time to consider some patterns and possibilities in performance via one of our favorite formats, the list.

 

Most Positive Surprises

Brian Roberts

Brett Myers

Clint Barnes

Jon Garland

Brady Clark

Dontrelle Willis

Dustin Hermanson

Mike Hampton

David Dellucci

Brandon Inge

 

Surprise Slumpers who will soon turn it around

Eric Chavez

Mike Lowell

Jim Thome

Rafael Furcal

Jake Westbrook

Aubrey Huff

Steve Finley

Barry Zito

Oliver Perez

Danny Kolb

 

Slumpers who will continue to piss you off this year

Adrian Beltre 

Bret Boone 

Aaron Boone

Johnny Estrada

Jack Wilson

Vernon Wells

Victor Martinez

Bernie Williams

Sidney Ponson

David Wells

 

Players who are hot and will stay hot if they can avoid the DL

Troy Glaus

Josh Beckett

Luis Gonzalez

Brad Penny

Joe Mauer

Mike Sweeney

Nick Johnson

Carlos Guillen

Mark Prior

Chris Carpenter

 

Players who are most likely to need either the Mansiere or the Bro in 10 years[1]

David Wells

Sidney Ponson

Bartolo Colon

Bob Wickman

Matt LeCroy

  

Players who will still be active in the majors, minors, or Mexican League in 2074

Julio Franco - 46

Rickey Henderson - 46

Oil Can Boyd – 45

Fernando Valenzuela - 44

John Franco - 44

Roger Clemens – 42

Jamie Moyer – 42

Terry Mullholland – 42

Steve Finley - 40

 

Active players with names that still make us giggle

Choo Freeman

Coco Crisp

Milton Bradley

Hee Seop Choi

Nook Logan

 

Players whose names could be either poems or soap opera characters

Austin Kearns

Damien Rolls

Chase Utley

Buddy Groom

Kerry Wood

 

Players whose last names could combine for a Hemingway short story

Nate Field

Bobby Hill

Brian Meadows

J.T. Snow

Torii Hunter

John Buck

Brandon Lyon

Randy Wolf

Jermaine Dye

Shawn Camp

Kerry Wood

Mike Burns

Aaron Cook

Jason Grilli

Jeremy Gobble

Steve Sparks

 

 

Robert Stapleton is a recovering listmaker who only occasionally falls off the wagon. He teaches writing at Butler University. His comments do not necessarily reflect the views of Rotochamps.com.

[1] From the Seinfeld episode “The Doorman,” wherein Kramer develops his plan for the male bra.

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